


Zousosan Drabbles

by Bronzeflower



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, If you are uncomfortable with that, Implied Sexual Content, Just kind of half naked, M/M, Multi, Not full on nudity though, Partial Nudity, There are curse words and things like that though, There isn't any actual sex in this though, They always at least have underwear on, Though some of them might be more akin to one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-07-28 13:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7643173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bronzeflower/pseuds/Bronzeflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small collection of zousosan drabbles based off of ot3 prompts I've found</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spit Out Your Goddamn Toothpaste Already!

**Author's Note:**

> "We all tried to spit our toothpaste in the sink at the same time and ended up banging our heads together and communicating in unintelligible noises due to having too much fucking toothpaste in our mouths oh my god will one you just spit first I’m so tired I want to go to bed"

Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji all decided to brush their teeth at the same time. In hindsight, this wasn’t exactly the greatest idea they have had. Especially speaking how they tried to spit into the sink at the same time, causing them to all bump their heads together.

“God damn it, you stupid marimo!” Sanji yelled, although it was incomprehensible, as his mouth was still full of toothpaste. “You made me bang my head!”

“What was that, you shitty cook?” Zoro shouted back, his speech just as incomprehensible as Sanji’s. “I can’t figure out a word you’re saying!”

“Spit out the toothpaste, you shitty bastard!” Sanji retaliated, although he, himself, did nothing of the sort.

Zoro and Sanji continued arguing in a way where they couldn’t even tell what the other was saying until Usopp spit his mouthful of toothpaste into the sink and shouted at the two.

“Would you two just shut the hell up and spit already? I’m tired and want to sleep already!”


	2. The Underwear Conundrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I SWEAR I HAVEN’T WORN A PAIR OF MY OWN UNDERWEAR IN OVER A YEAR THERE IS JUST SO MUCH FUCKING UNDERWEAR IN THIS HOUSEHOLD GODDAMN"

“Why the hell do we have so much underwear?” Usopp questioned.

“Probably because there are three of us living here.” Zoro responded.

“Yeah, I know, but still.” Usopp frowned. “I swear I haven’t word a single pair of my own underwear in a year! I don’t even remember what underwear is mine at this point!”

“I think I’m wearing a pair of your underwear.” Zoro commented. “Let me check.”

“Don’t just strip to check to see what underwear you’re wearing!” Usopp yelled. “Oh my god.”

“See?” Zoro put his hands on his hip. “I’m pretty sure this is your underwear.”

“You don’t have to take off your pants to prove that to me!” Usopp shouted.

“What’s the ruckus in here?” Sanji asked as he entered the room. “Why the hell are you not wearing any pants.”

“To see if the underwear was Usopp’s.” Zoro answered.

“Huh. I think I’m wearing Usopp’s underwear as well.” Sanji took the band of his pants and pulled it away from his hip to check.

“Don’t you dare undress.” Usopp warned.

“I’m not going to undress, unlike this idiot.” Sanji said.

“Eh? You did the same thing I did!” Zoro protested.

“I didn’t take off my pants!” Sanji defended. “Put some damn pants on, you dumb idiot!”


	3. Really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You and I were innocently making out but then I got aroused and so did you but we knew Person C would be home literally any minute so we just decided to wait for them at which point they walked through the door and took one look at our faces and realized exactly what was going on before sighing at us disappointingly and taking off their shirt"

Zoro and Sanji were just innocently making out. Really! But then Sanji got aroused, and then so did Zoro, so cloths were clearly out of the question.

“Wait.” Sanji said suddenly.

“What?” Zoro asked.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Usopp to get back?” Sanji questioned. “I mean, he is probably going to be here any minute.”

“Guys! I’m home!” The voice of Usopp rang out through the house.

Usopp then proceeded to enter the room where Zoro and Sanji were, and he took one glance at the two before speaking.

“Really?” Usopp sighed disappointingly and took off his shirt to join them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be honest. This is probably the closest thing I have ever written to smut


	4. Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You two are such trouble-makers and I am literally cleaning up after you 24/7 please be adults for like one second and no both of you simultaneously smothering me in neck kisses isn’t going to make me less mad….but carry on anyways"

“Why the hell am I always the one to clean up you two’s messes?” Sanji yelled at Zoro and Usopp.

“He started it.” Usopp pointed at Zoro.

“Eh? You were the one who suggested I do it!” Zoro defended.

“Well, I didn’t think you were actually going to do it!” Usopp shouted back.

“Shut up! Both of you!” Sanji exclaimed. “Arguing isn’t going to fix anything!”

“It was Zoro’s fault anyway.” Usopp whispered to himself.

Sanji sighed as he sat down on the couch.

“Awww! Come on, Sanji! You can’t be mad at us forever.” Usopp began riddling Sanji’s neck with kisses. Zoro followed suit.

“Kissing my neck isn’t going to make me any less mad.” Sanji said as his face was completely red.

“What? You want us to stop?” Zoro asked, smirking. Sanji frowned.

“No.” Sanji admitted. “Carry on.”


	5. The Valiant Knight Has Come to Rescue You!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... turned out way longer than I expected it to

Usopp, the great and valiant knight, was sent on a quest to rescue the prince who was trapped in the tower and guarded by a dragon. Of course, Usopp, being the brave knight that he is, accepted the quest.

However, he was now quivering in his armor, afraid to even approach the tower. It was fine. He was the brave knight, Usopp! He had killed countless dragons, and the mere mention of his name is enough to make babies stop crying!

Except for the fact that those were all lies, and this was the first dragon he had ever seen. The dragon was the size of the tower that it guarded, and it had green scales. Usopp was just thankful that the dragon seemed to be sleeping at that moment.

This comfort was short lived, as the prince poked their head out of the tower and shouted at the dragon.

“Hey! Wake up, you shitty dragon!” The prince shouted. The reaction the dragon had was instantaneous. It immediately woke up and growled at the prince.

The prince simply glared back at the dragon, seemingly unfazed by the giant monstrosity guarding the tower.

“Don’t give me that look! It’s your own damn fault that I’m still stuck in this godforsaken tower!” The prince yelled.

“Well, excuse me for doing my job, curly brow.” The dragon’s voice rang out, and Usopp’s eyeballs nearly popped out in surprise.

“How can you even do your job when you’re constantly sleeping?” The prince questioned.

“How can I sleep when you’re constantly waking me up?” The dragon countered.

“Shut up and eat your food.” The prince then handed the dragon a large chunk of meat. 

“By the way, there’s another knight coming to save you.” The dragon commented before eating the meat.

“I already knew that, idiot.” The prince looked over in the direction Usopp was hiding. “Oi. If you’re here to save me, then why don’t you come out already? God knows I want someone to get rid of this stupid dragon.”

“Like anyone could.” The dragon scoffed.

“I could easily kick your ass if I was not in this tower!” The prince claimed.

“I-I’m warning you!” Usopp shouted and the two glanced back in his direction. “I have eight million men under my control! I’ve killed countless dragons and saved so much royalty that they call me ‘God Usopp’! If you let me take the prince now, I’ll spare your life, dragon!”

The dragon simply resounded by blowing a small amount of fire towards the knight. Usopp jumped at the sudden burst of fire and screamed, but, to his credit, he did not pass out.

“You’re lying.” The dragon said.

“Crap. I’ve been found out.” Usopp stated. He then got out his slingshot. “Fine then! Even if those were all lies, I can st-still beat you!”

“Your legs are shaking.” The dragon pointed out. “And I’ve never seen a knight use a slingshot.”

“Well, I guess I’m just different. Firebird Star!” Usopp shouted as he shot a bird of flame at the dragon.

The dragon didn’t even react when the Firebird Star reached him.

“Damnit. It didn’t work.” Usopp cursed before going back into hiding. “I thought for sure fire would work!”

“If you didn’t notice, the damn bastard is a dragon!” The prince shouted. “He’s immune to fire!”

“Why the hell are you giving him tips?” The dragon growled.

“Maybe so I can get out of this shitty tower?” The prince answered. “It’s not like I want to stay here for the rest of my life!”

“Well, it’s not like I was ordered to get you out of tower at any time!” 

“Explosive Star!” Usopp shot his Explosive Star at the dragon as soon as he gained the courage to do so.

The dragon suddenly turned into a human and sliced the Explosive Star in half, the explosion going behind him.

“Explosive Star! Explosive Star! Explosive Star!” Usopp shot a succession of three Explosive Star’s, but all of them were cut by the dragon that suddenly turned into a swordsman.

However, it seemed that the tower that the prince was in was constructed very badly, as it had started falling apart when it got it by the Explosive Stars.

The tower fell, as did the prince, who happened to land right in Usopp’s arms.

Usopp looked just as surprised as the prince was when Usopp just so happened to be in the right spot to catch the prince.

“Holy shit. I saved the prince.” Usopp stated.

“Well, you got me out of the tower, so I guess you weren’t a complete failure.” The prince said. “And let go of me, will you?”

“Oh! Sorry!” Usopp carefully helped the prince back on his feet. “Might I learn your name?”

“Typically it’s common custom to introduce yourself before asking the names of others.” The prince stated.

“Oh, right.” Usopp took a stance that suggested he was more confident than he actually was. “I’m the great knight, Usopp!”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Sanji, and the bastard marimo over there is Zoro.” Sanji glanced over to the dragon, who was walking away. “Oi! Where are you going?”

“Eh? You got out of the tower, so I’ve got no obligation to stay here.” Zoro answered.

“Oh, no. Like hell you are getting away before I get to have a fight with you!” Sanji shouted.

“You want a fight?” Zoro yelled back.

As the two fought, Usopp wondered what the hell was going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might actually write a sequel thing to this. I had a lot of fun writing this particular prompt, so it would be interesting to do more of it. However, I might just do it as a separate fanfic, but I might just add another chapter to this drabble collection, though I have a feeling I would need way more chapters, so it might end up as a separate fic.


	6. Can You Lift Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "One member being strong enough to lift the other two, and working out, using them as weights"

“Can you lift me?” Usopp asked Zoro one day.

“What kind of question is that? Of course I can lift you.” Zoro answered.

“But can you lift me and Sanji at the same time?” Usopp questioned.

“Of course I can!”

“Prove it.” Usopp challenged, which caused Zoro to place down his weights and lift up Usopp.

“See? Easy.” 

“But you need to lift up Sanji, too.” Usopp pointed out.

“Oi! Cook!” Zoro shouted, and, once Sanji was in sight, Zoro immediately picked him up.

“What the hell are you doing?” Sanji yelled.

“I challenged him to lift us both at the same time.” Usopp answered.

“That’s a dumb challenge.” Sanji said. “We both know he can pick us up at the same time.”

Just then, Luffy managed to fall off the ship.

“I’ll go save him.” Sanji stated before jumping into the water to save their dumbass captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know that it says that this is completed, but I only made it that number because that was the amount of ot3 prompts that I was interested in that I found. However, if any of you people reading this have any ideas that you would like to see me write, I would be happy to! So, if you have any suggestions or prompts that you would like to see, please put any and all of them in the comments


	7. Really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Person A always sleeps in the middle because they are the smallest but that also means that sometimes they end up like a whole half of the way down the bed by morning and more than once now we’ve both been terrified we accidentally suffocated them in the night"

“Where did Usopp go?” Sanji asked Zoro as he woke up.

“I don’t know. Maybe we suffocated him.” Zoro answered.

“Don’t joke about that!” Sanji yelled. He looked around the room. “I don’t see his nose anywhere.”

“Maybe he got up already.” Zoro suggested.

“Without waking either of us up?” Sanji said. “Usopp! You in here?”

“Shut up! I’m trying to sleep!” Usopp climbed out of the covers to glare at Sanji.

“I’m glad you’re not dead.” Sanji hugged Usopp. Zoro followed suit, so Usopp was sandwiched between the two of them.

“Do you guys have to do this every morning?” Usopp questioned.

“It’s not our fault that you end up beneath the covers so that we think you’ve suffocated.” Zoro said, while Sanji simply hummed in response.

“Yeah, yeah. I love you guys, too.” Usopp smiled slightly. “But is it seriously necessary for you two to do that every morning?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I have this story set as finished, but keep in mind that I will add to it if I ever get ideas or inspiration, so feel free to request things in the comments!


End file.
